Saturday, August 16, 2008
summer reading fun
As you are relaxing on the beach, traveling around the globe, working in the sun, or hanging out at home, I trust you picked up a book or two or three. The school year will be jump started by our class' assigned summer reading book - The Things They Carried. All classes should be ready to discuss these books and feel good about a little upcoming in-class writing assignment. You can show off to me all your knowledge about the book and its message, as well as your writing skills.But that's not all! The two free choice books warrant discussion as well and you will be using some technology for that. If you are thinking this blog, you're right! But that's just for one of your books, for the other one you'll be reflecting in the form of a podcast. You'll record your own voice reading an important passage of your own choosing with analysis and music. A great way to start the year!
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Elizabeth F.
Period 6
“And as Flora twirled, other girls and women came through the field in all directions. Our heartache poured into one another like water from cup to cup. Each time I told my story, I lost a bit, the smallest drop of pain. It was that day that I knew I wanted to tell the story of my family. Because horror on Earth is real and it is every day. It is like a flower or like the sun; it cannot be contained.” (Sebold,186)
At this point in the story, Susie has met up with the other victims of the man who killed her. One of the themes of the books is grief and how Susie and her family and friends cope or don’t cope with the grief of Susie’s death. In this excerpt, Susie is finally able to let her grief out and share it with people who understand how she feels because they went through the same thing. Their heartaches “poured into one another like water from cup to cup.” They were all able to relate with one another and help each other cope with their murders.
“At twenty-one Lindsey was many things I would never become, but I barely grieved this list anymore. Still I roved where she roved. I collected my college diploma and rode on the back of Samuel’s bike, clinging to him with my arms wrapped around his waist, pressing into his back for warmth…
“Okay, it was Lindsey. I realized that. But in watching her I found I could get lost more than with anyone else.” (Sebold, 232)
Another theme in The Lovely Bones is growing up. Physically, Susie never get to grow up, she is killed before she gets the chance. In her heaven though, looking down on her friends and family she learns to grow up mentally. She grows up through her sister Lindsey. Here, she is telling the reader what Lindsey has done, but from her point of view, as if she was Lindsey. The change in Susie is clear when she says that she “barely grieves this list anymore” referring to the list of things that Lindsey became and Susie wanted to become but was never given the chance.
C Mahoney
English Period 6
9 – 10 – 08
Analysis
Chapter 18 pg. 121-
“The light, full and smooth, lay like a gold rind over the turf, the furze and yew bushes, the few wind-stunted thorn trees. From the ridge, the light seemed to cover all the slope below, drowsy and still. But down in the grass itself, between the bushes, in that thick forest trodden by the beetle, the spider and the hunting shrew, the moving light was like a wind that danced among them to set them scurrying and weaving.”
I chose this passage because I feel that it really takes you to the mountain side ridge, and you can really see the morning light covering certain parts of the land below. I really like this passage because it’s one of the first descriptions of the new home where the rabbits are going to live. The vocabulary is really colorful, and the author shows you what he felt was the setting, not just tells you. The small insects moving are also really important because it shows the depth of detail the author goes into when describing a new setting. The words drowsy and still give the reader the feeling of an early morning, and that no one not even the animals have awoken to start their day. The description of the forest ground being trodden by a beetle is really interesting, because you wouldn’t think that a beetle would really have trodden all over the forest, but possibility one small area of it. This passage ties into the main themes of the book because it describes the natural beauty that is present throughout the journeys of the rabbits, and how even miles away from home, they can still find a peaceful place to live.
Chapter 22 pg. 161-
“Rabbits (says Mr. Lockley) are like human beings in many ways. One of these is certainly their staunch ability to withstand disaster and to let the stream of their life carry then along. Past reaches of terror and loss. They have a certain quality which it would not be accurate to describe as callousness or indifference.”
I chose this passage because it describes the qualities of rabbits and their natural human likenesses. Their abilities to over come terrors and move on are some of the key lessons throughout the novel. Like the river that flows between the rabbits’ warren and Efrafa, everything moves along, nothing stays where it is. In nature there is a constant cycle of life, death, and rebirth, the rabbits too have their own ways of forgetting the past and living as, “Life is Now.” (pg 161) This passage is descriptive writing because it personifies the rabbits by giving them the ability to move on with life and to be able to handle the grief of loosing a fellow rabbit to nature’s beasts; a fox or a hungry owl.
Jordan
September 10, 2008
Period 6 Miller
“On this particular Thursday, something was moving quietly through the ionosphere many miles above the surface of the planet; several somethings in fact, several dozen huge yellow chunky slablike somethings, huge as office blocks, silent as birds.” (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, p.23)
Throughout The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, author Douglas Adams uses many adjectives to enhance objects and people. In this excerpt, he is describing spaceships that have come to destroy the planet Earth. Instead of saying “spaceships”, however, he says “huge yellow chunky slablike somethings”. This is good descriptive writing because it allows the reader some leeway in conjuring up an image of these objects. If Adams had used the word “spaceship”, then the reader would have conjured a generic spaceship image in his mind. By using “somethings” instead, his adjectives alone determine the reader’s idea of what these flying objects look like. This ties in with a recurring theme in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which is that people are greatly influenced by their preconceptions.
“It was a Blagulon Kappa policecraft, a bulbous sharklike affair, slate-green in color and smothered with black stenciled letters of varying degrees of size and unfriendliness.” (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, p. 190)
Douglas Adams uses word combinations for descriptive effect in his masterpiece, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. In this quote Adams uses such combinations to convey the conflicting nature of a spacecraft that the protagonists pass during their travels. The adjectives “bulbous” and “sharklike” are contrasts both in their meaning and in how they look visually. In terms of their meaning, “bulbous” entails rotund curves, while “sharklike” implies a certain sharpness and sleekness. Visually, the round letters of “bulbous” agree with its meaning, contrasting the sharp, pointy letters of “sharklike”. By calling it a “bulbous sharklike affair”, Adams plants the idea of a disproportionate and peculiar ship while allowing the reader free rein to imagine its actual shape. This also fits with the theme of clashing and contrasting concepts throughout the book.
“A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van’s body” (56). This excerpt narrated by main character Bella Swan is a good example of descriptive writing. Edward forcefully saves Bella from the car heading towards her, so much as to “shudder” the car and create a dent in its side. Edward is extremely attracted to Bella so much as to physically strain himself and use his powers as a vampire to keep a massive car from killing her. This is a pivotal turning point in the book because it is the first of many times that Edward goes out of his way to protect Bella from harm. In this dramatic scene it is visible that Edward would both risk his life and potentially expose his identity to save someone he cares for.
“On the one hand, I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was a child; they were one of the only things I ever looked forward to when I had to come to Forks. On the other hand, I’d also fallen into them a lot. Not a big deal when you’re seven and with your dad. It reminded me of Edward’s request — that I not fall into the ocean” (116). Bella has been in love with the tide pools ever since she was a young child and frequently visited Forks. Before she goes on a hiking trip with her friends, however, Edward warns her to keep away from any type of water for fear she might fall due to her tendency of acting clumsy. This water could represent all the others accompanying Bella on her trip that want to befriend her. Edward wants Bella to be closer with him and not pay attention to the other teens, especially the boys. Edward is strongly attracted to Bella and feels he has more to offer; therefore, he doesn’t want her getting swept up in the wrong group of friends.
Allie F.
Ms. Miller
Period: 6
Date Due: 9/11/08
Summer Reading Analysis
“After tearing the letter into tiny pieces, Mother turned away from me and returned to her television show. I stood motionless, gazing at the letter which lay like snowflakes at my feet. Even though I had heard the same words over and over again, this time the word “It” stunned me like never before. She had stripped me of my very existence. I gave all that I could to accomplish anything positive for her recognition. But again, I failed. My heart sank lower than ever before. Mother’s words were no longer coming from the booze; they were coming from her heart. I would have been relieved if she had returned with a knife and ended it all,” (Pelzer 141).
This excerpt captures the theme of the entire novel which is simplified into the four word title A Child Called “It”. The child in this story, Dave Pelzer, is also the author of this heart wrenching tale. The theme which is portrayed in this passage and memoir is the extent at which Pelzer’s mother goes to reduce him to less than nothing and strip him of his “very existence.” Her actions go far beyond what any human, let alone a mother, should do even when a child has grossly misbehaved.
This piece is a particularly good example of descriptive writing because the reader feels the pain which Dave feels. This case of pain is psychological as his mother makes him feel inhuman. Readers are able to connect with this because everyone wants to be loved and therefore feels the agony (to a lesser degree than Dave) of being deeply hated. Dave’s realization that the alcohol is not controlling his mother’s hatred makes the reader feel even more pain. Dave wants to make his mother happy, which is a goal that most children have so can associate with, but instead his intentions were turned around dramatically.
Not only does Dave let the reader feel his pain through connections but also his use of language. He explains even minute details about the incident including “the letter which lay like snowflakes.” The word “snowflakes” is used to show how cold and heartless the mother is. Words like “stunned” and “stripped” make the story harsher. Also his four word sentence “But again, I failed” and his statement about wanting to end his life are so simply stated that it is easy for one to understand and feel for him.
“ ‘You’ve made my life a living hell!’ she sneered. ‘Now it’s time I showed you what hell is like!’ Gripping my arm, Mother held it in the orange-blue flame. My skin seemed to explode from the heat. I could smell the scorched hairs from my burnt arm. As hard as I fought, I could not force Mother to let go of my arm. Finally I fell to the floor, on my hands and knees, and tried to blow cool air on my arm. ‘It’s too bad your drunken father’s not here to save you,’ she hissed. Mother then ordered me to climb up onto the stove and lie on the flames so she could watch me burn. I refused, crying and pleading. I felt so scared I stomped my feet in protest. But Mother continued to force me on top of the stove…Suddenly I began to realize the longer I could keep myself off the top of the stove, the better my chances were for staying alive,” (Pelzer 42).
How could a mother possibly utter these words to and inflict so much pain on her son? It is beyond despicable, yet it is what Dave Pelzer had to live through. Dave uses great descriptive writing in this passage by tapping into our senses. He does this by explaining what he smells, feels, sees and hears. For example the line, “I could smell the scorched hairs from my burnt arm,” is so descriptive it makes the reader cringe. Dave’s comment “I stomped my feet in protest” is ironic because it makes the situation seem like he is a normal child having a temper tantrum, which he is not. He is instead being treated completely abnormally. Despite all of the dreadful things which he is going through, Dave still keeps hope. He comes up with ways to survive when one would think that he would rather die. This theme of persistence and courage is one that is displayed throughout this autobiography. Dave wants to outsmart his mother and comes up with plans to survive. His will to survive is remarkable and inspirational.
“And as soon as they did, Ender kicked out high and hard, catching Stilson square in the breastbone. He dropped… For a moment, the others backed away and Stilson lay motionless. They were all wondering if he was dead. Ender, however, was trying to figure out a way to forestall vengeance. To keep them from taking him in a pack tomorrow. I have to win this now, and for all time, or I’ll have to fight it every day and it will get worse and worse. Ender knew about the unspoken rules of manly warfare, even though he was only six. It was forbidden to strike an opponent who lay helpless on the ground…So Ender walked to Stilson’s supine body and kicked him again, viciously in the ribs. Stilson groaned and rolled away from him. Ender walked around him and kicked him again, in the crotch. Stilson could not make a sound… ‘You might be having some idea of ganging up on me. You could probably beat me pretty bad. But just remember what I do to people who try and hurt me. From then on you’d be wondering when I’d get you and how bad it would be.’ He kicked Stilson in the face. Blood from his nose spattered the ground nearby.” (7-8)
This excerpt is a great example of descriptive writing for it gives vivid details of Ender’s fight with a school bully named Stilson. The author talks of how blood was everywhere and the moaning sounds out of Stilson’s mouth let the reader feel as if they were there at the fight. This excerpt ties into the themes of the novel for Ender always comes back to this fight, how he didn’t want to fight him, but when ever he is in danger he always does what he must. It is an issue he faces in the future as well with other bullies, and he does the same thing to them. Ender also thinks as if he was an adult when he was only six years old in that he anticipates that Stilson’s gang will team up on him tomorrow unless he can find a way to stop it, so he does. These features are why Ender was accepted into the battle school, which is where the rest of the novel mainly takes place.
“They filed into the battleroom, like children in a swimming pool for the first time, clinging to the handholds along the side. Null gravity was frightening, disorienting; they soon found that things went better if they didn’t use their feet at all…Ender gripped the handhold and flexed his knees. He noticed that along with the sluggishness, the suit had an amplifying effect on movement…Give them a push this strong, and the suit pushes with twice the force. I’ll be clumsy for a while better get started.” (55-56)
This excerpt is a good example of descriptive writing as weel because the author sets the scene by describing how the young boys entered the room and how they were afraid to do anything. It allowed one to relate to the feelings for the author used a simile with going into a pool for the first time. This ties to the novel in that once again it shows how Ender is realizing things and doing things faster and smarter than anyone else, demonstrating impressive skills for a first-timer in the battleroom. This is a necessary for Ender is to become a commander in a couple of years, so being able to see something and immediately know how to manipulate it to your advantage is a good quality of a commander.
Chris Tran
9/11/08
Per. 6
Passage Analysis
“Then the rest of the quartet joined the fiddle and all of them worked back to the point from which the statement might arise: it was essential to get straight back into the current, so as the ‘cello came in with its predictable and necessary contribution of pom, pom-pom-pom, poom, Jack’s chin sank upon his breast and in unison with the ‘cello he went pom, pom-pom-pom, poom. An elbow drove into his ribs and the shshsh hissed in his ear. He found that his hand was high in the air, beating time; he lowered it, clenched his mouth shut and looked down at his feet until the music was over.” (Page 15)
This is one of the earliest examples of descriptive writing that ties in with the main theme of the book. I felt that it painted the picture of this scene very well and described the sounds that could be heard as well as the sounds Jack was hearing himself. It puts you there in the room with Jack and puts you in Jacks shoes at this moment. The author says things like “hissed in his ear” and “looked down at his feet” to let you imagine what he looks like and what it is like to be him. Music is a hobby of Jack, a ship captain, and he is constantly trying to improve his musicianship, much like he tries to improve almost every aspect of himself in the book. This is one of the most reoccurring themes in the book, improvement. Jack is always trying to improve, and so is the ship’s crew. They try and improve their time firing all of their cannons so that when the ship goes into combat they can fire their cannons at the other ship faster than their enemies, which greatly increases their chances of survival and victory.
“The slow-match whipped across. The captain stubbed it hard down on the priming. For an infinitesimal spark of time there was a hissing, a flash, and then the gun went of with the round, satisfying bang of a pound and more of hard-rammed powder exploding in a confined space. A stab of crimson flame in the smoke, flying morsels of wad, the gun shooting eight feet backwards under the arched body of its captain and between the members of its crew, the deep twang of the breeching as it brought up the recoil-all these were virtually inseparable in time; and before they were over the next order came.” (Page 141)
This excerpt only has a little to do with one of the main themes of the book, improvement, but the descriptive writing is unbelievably detailed and extraordinarily easy to picture in your mind if you have ever seen a cannon fired or understand how they work. There really is no better way to describe the site of a cannon being fired. This excerpt brings sight, sound, smell, feel, and time all together in one paragraph. Some things the author said to describe this scene were “crimson flame in the smoke” and “round, satisfying bang”. It’s easy to imagine smoke surrounding cannons and then when the cannon goes off the only thing you can see is the flame when it shoots out of the cannon, and it’s easy to imagine the bang of the cannon with sound and feeling. Just like fireworks on the 4th of July, you can hear the bang of the fireworks but you can also feel the thud in your chest because the sound punches everything nearby. This passage had to do with improvement because this scene is actually from a practice session, when the crew is trying to improve their firing time.
Andrew Liacopoulos
Period 6 English
Book Analysis
9/11/08
“Ron yelled in shock and backed away as the figures blossomed out of the locket, first chests, then waists, then legs, until they stood in the locket, side by side like trees with a common root, swaying over Ron and the real Harry, who had snatched his fingers away from the locket as it burned, suddenly, white-hot.” (376)
This passage from the seventh Harry Potter is a good example of descriptive writing for a couple of reasons. First, it was a short paragraph but the reader is able to get a sense of what is going on based on this paragraph. Second, the use of a simile is an effective way of describing the setting. The reader is able to get a sense that the figures appear tall and strong with the tree metaphor. Throughout the book, the characters are faced with adversity and must overcome it if they want to survive and this scene, the figures play with Ron’s head as they look like Harry and Hermione. Ron is able to overcome this as he takes the sword of Gryffindor and smashes the cursed locket into pieces.
“The bang was like a cannon blast, and the golden flames that erupted between them, at the dead center of the circle they had been treading, marked the point where the spells collided. Harry saw Voldemort’s green jet meet his own spell, saw the Elder Wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling like the head of Nagini, spinning through the air toward the master it would not kill, who had come to take full possession of it at last. And Harry, with the enerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and Harry stood with two wands in his hand, staring down at his enemy’s shell.” (743-744)
This passage is of the final encounter in the book as Harry kills Tom Riddle. Rowling really gives the reader a clear picture of what is happening with every person lined along the walls watching the duel between them and the tension in the air. Then once they actually begin the fighting, the way she almost slows it down so the reader can really get the whole idea of how suspenseful this is and how significant it is. The final blow that kills Riddle is described in detail. The way he flies across the floor and the way he died. His ego and arrogance was what killed him, Rowling made sure the reader was aware of that through the descriptiveness of the writing prior to the passage. This passage ties into the main theme of the book by having Harry not fear death and having the courage to face the most feared wizard of all time.
Maddie
period 6
9/10
“Twilight” by Stephanie Meyer is about a girl, named Bella, who moves to a new town where some strange people live, including a guy named Edward Cullen, who later becomes her boyfriend. For the most part she is known as a very klutzy person that always manages to get herself into trouble. “I was cautious not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. The others were fearless, leaping over the rocks, perching precariously on the edges. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pool and sat there cautiously, spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.” (Meyer, 17) .This passage was very descriptive about how careful Bella was trying to be, which makes it is clear that she is aware of how problematic her clumsiness can be, and is throughout the book. Bella is also “spellbound” by the tide pool, which represents her attraction to things that are chaotic. There are so many little things that are going on in the tide pool; little pieces of sea life getting tossed around by and uncontrollable force. This is much like her attachment to Edward Cullen, her boyfriend, who happens to be a vampire. Because he is a vampire there are pieces of his life that are much more extreme than Bella’s and these things tend to cause a lot of stress for her throughout the book. Even when she is stressed out she is still so hooked by all the excitement from her relationship, she keeps coming back for more.
Later on in the story Bella and Edward’s family are playing baseball, when they encounter another group of vampires who are out hunting. This scene describes Edward’s extreme actions of protection over Bella. “A swift rigidity fell on all of them as James lurched one step forward into a crouch. Edward bared his teeth, crouching in defense, a feral snarl ripping from his throat. It was nothing like the playful sounds I’d heard from him this morning; it was the single most menacing thing I had ever heard, and chills ran from the crown of my head to the back of my heels” (Meyer,379). The fact that Edward reacted in a way that an animal would, gives the reader a sense of how desperately he wanted to protect her. By acting like an animal he was mostly acting on natural instinct rather than a more proper way of dealing with the situation. Edward was not the only one who whose actions were similar to those of an animal, James, one of the vampires who was hunting, went into a crouching position as if he was going to pounce on Bella and attack her. Edward may have gone a little overboard by growling; it was such an extreme way to react. Although he is intimidating at this point in the text, James becomes a problem, and Edward’s tight grip of protectiveness is not quite tight enough.
Tyler C.
Period 6
1. “I used to think of my body as an instrument, of pleasure, or a means of transportation, or an implement for the accomplishment of my will. I could use it to run, push buttons of one sort or another, make things happen. There were limits, but my body was nevertheless lithe, single, solid, one with me. Now the flesh arranges itself differently. I’m a cloud, congealed around a central object, the shape of a pear, which is hard and more real than I am and glows red within its translucent wrapping.” (73)
This quote is an excellent example of descriptive writing in The Handmaid’s Tale because of how Offred describes her body. When she describes that her body used to feel like an instrument, she is saying that used to feel freedom, much like an instrument provides the opportunity for creativity and pleasure. However, Offred is saying that the dystopia of Gilead has changed her views on her body, making her believe that her “central object,” or womb, is more real than she is, showing that her individuality has been stripped due to the dystopia’s views and treatment of women. When she says that her body “glows red,” the color red symbolizes fertility, which is the main function of women in Gilead. This ties in to one of the major themes of the book in that women’s bodies are made political devices in Gilead. By writing a satire where women are treated this way, Atwood is criticizing the present world’s treatment of women.
2. “She did not believe he was a monster. He was not a monster, to her. Probably he had some endearing trait: he whistled, offkey, in the shower, he had a yen for truffles, he called his dog Liebchen and made it sit up for little pieces of raw steak. How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation.” (145)
In this excerpt, Offred describes a television show she saw on a documentary about a woman who was a wife of a Nazi death camp soldier. This passage is descriptive because it parallels the situation that she is currently in. The Nazi mistress “invented a humanity” for her husband because it is a “temptation” to not want to believe that someone you know is a monster. The Nazi soldier parallels what the Commander is to her: someone who is contributing to wrong-doings but also has kind traits. This quotes ties into the motif of uncertainty in the novel, because throughout the story, Offred struggles between accepting where she lives and being unhappy with it. By remembering the Nazi documentary, Offred is trying to parallel herself to someone who copes with living with a monster, but she herself ultimately cannot.
David Fan
Per 6 English
9/10/08
Book Analysis: The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Passage: “Let the trumpets blare. Let the drums roll. Let the show begin. I rose to my feet. Richard Parker noticed. The balance was not easy. I took a deep breath and shouted, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hurry to your seats! Hurry, hurry. You don’t want to be late. Sit down, open your eyes, open your hearts and prepare to be amazed. Here it is for your enjoyment and instruction. For your gratification and edification, the show you’ve been waiting for all your life, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH! … Without further ado, it is my pleasure and honor to present to you, THE PI PATEL, INDO-CANADIAN, TRANS-PACIFIC, FLOATING CIRCUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!” (page 165)
Analysis: I thought that this was a good example of descriptive writing because it conveys the theme of the book, which is survival at sea. The reason Pi yelled this was to train the tiger (known as Richard Parker) it was to show who is more dominate on the boat, which ultimately was Pi. I also thought of this as a way of coping with survival at sea.
Passage: “I looked down between my legs. I thought I would faint for joy. The open locker glistened with shiny new things. Oh, the delight of the manufactured good, the man made device, the created thing!… my eyes immediately fell upon what I was looking for whether in a bottle, a tin can or a carton, water is unmistakably packaged. On this lifeboat, the wine of life was served in pale golden cans that fit nicely in hand. Drinking water said the vintage label in black letters.” (Page 141)
Analysis: I liked this passage because it was very descriptive. As I read the passage I could see every clear image of what he was doing; when the author used clear details of how the gold tin can looked with the black vintage lettering. I liked this passage because he didn’t take the items for granted. Most people take things for granted; in my opinion people need to have a reality check sometimes of what is really valuable in life and what is not.
Sam Rubin
September 10, 2008
Period 6
Book Analysis
In Values of the Game by Bill Bradley, there are many examples of descriptive writing that help show the reader what it was like to play in the NBA. One example of descriptive writing is when Bradley is describing basketball being played in a gymnasium. The gymnasium is what Bradley calls, “part of my solitary joy.” On page two it says, “Thwat, thwat! The ball hit the floor and the popping sound echoed from the steel beams of the ceiling and the collapsed wooden stands that stacked up twenty feet high.” In this description, Bradley is able to let us hear the basketball being bounced on the floor by is imagery and use of onomatopoeia. Also, we can see the stands because of their description as wooden stands stacked twenty feet high. This excerpt ties into a theme in the story which is that the gymnasium is where all the hard work gets done. Bradley practices so much at the gym, so this passage reflects on what he hears and sees during his time at the gym.
Another example of descriptive writing is when Bradley describes one of his competitors Dominique Willis. Bradley shows that he has respect for Willis when he says that he changed the momentum of a game all by himself. The descriptive writing is on page 33 and it says, “Then Willis appeared from underneath the stands. The audience erupted in a roar as loud as Niagara Falls.” Bradley uses similes to tell the reader how loud the audience was. The readers can see a single player that sticks out come out onto a court from underneath stands because of his descriptive words. This passage follows along the theme of respect towards others in the book. Bradley consistently talks about other great players such as Russell, West, Baylor, and Willis and how he respects each competitor.
“‘Don’t make this even more difficult than it already is, Agha sahib,’ Ali said. His mouth twitched and, for a moment, I thought I saw a grimace. That was when I understood the depth of the pain I had caused, the blackness of the grief I had brought onto everyone, that not even Ali’s paralyzed face could mask his sorrow. I forced myself to look at Hassan, but his head was downcast, his shoulders slumped, his finger twirling a loose string on the hem of his shirt.” (Hosseini, 106)
This excerpt is one of the several examples of Khaled Hosseini’s descriptive writing in The Kite Runner. This excerpt is a particularly good example of descriptive writing because of the significance it holds to the plot. This excerpt ties in with the main themes of the book because this takes place after he gets Hassan in trouble for something he didn’t do so that they would have to leave. This excerpt represents the guilt he feels which is significant throughout the text. The scene previous to this was all dialogue of Hassan being accused and admitting to a crime he never committed. One important line previous to this excerpt is “I’m sorry, Agha sahib, but our bags are already packed. We’ve made our decision.” This line tells the reader that Ali and Hassan have already made their decision and there is no turning back, increasing his guilt.
“Where the tables legs crossed like an X, there was a ring of brass balls, each walnut-sized. One of the balls had come unscrewed. I stooped and tightened it. I wished I could fix my own life as easily.” (Hosseini, 225)
This excerpt is one of Hosseini’s endless examples of extraordinary writing. The analogy of his life to the brass ball is very fitting. Especially given the time that this analogy is made, he is contemplating whether or not to go after Hassan’s son. This excerpt ties into the main themes of the book because it shows his guilt in the mistakes he has made in his life and how his life seems to be falling apart. Previous to the excerpt he is going over in his mind the times with Baba and Hassan trying to imagine how Baba could’ve kept it the secret all these years. He is remembering when Baba said, “This is his home and we’re his family.” Going over these memories sets up the feeling of hopelessness that he is going through during the scene.
Erika Sweet
Ms. Miller
Period 6
9/11/08
Summer Reading Analysis on Water for Elephants
“Immediately a herd of zebras pass in front of them. Flailing human limbs flash between pounding black and white legs. Up and down, a hand, a foot, twisting and bouncing bonelessly. When the herd passes, the thing that was August is a tangled mass of flesh, innards, and straw” (Gruen 309-310).
This excerpt is a good example of descriptive writing because it clearly describes how August is trampled by the stampede of animals. Gruen uses the words “pounding”(309) and “bouncing”(309) to make the scene come to life, and the imagery of “black and white legs”(309), so one may be able to picture the contrast of the animals running together in their mind. The description of August as a “tangled mass of flesh, innards and straw”(310), shows how he is completely battered by the stampede of the animals and is probably no longer alive. This description of August ties into one of the main themes in the novel. Now that August is dead, he is no longer a barrier between Jacob and Marlena. Previously, August, Marlena’s husband, was an obvious blockade between Jacob and Marlena being able to have a relationship, which they both clearly wanted. This also shows how the most unexpected events which seem tragic at the moment end up bringing more happiness than before. Before August’s accident, he and Marlena were married, but it was obvious that Marlena and Jacob were attracted to each other. August’s death was clearly a tragedy, and Marlena was very upset about it, but it ultimately allowed her to be with Jacob, who she would have been happier with anyways.
“I reach for the iron grab bar and fling myself upward. My left foot and elbow hit first, and then my chin, which smashes onto the metal edging. I cling tightly with all three. The noise is deafening, and my jawbone bangs rhythmically on the iron edging. I smell either blood or rust and wonder briefly if I’ve destroyed my teeth before realizing the point is in serious danger of becoming moot- I’m balanced perilously on the edge of the doorway with my right leg pointed at the undercarriage. With my right hand I cling to the grab bar. With my left leg I claw the floorboards so desperately the wood peels off, under my nails. I’m losing purchase- I have almost no tread on my shoes and my left foot slides in short jerks toward the door. My right leg now dangles so far under the train I’m sure I’m going to lose it. I brace for it even, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my teeth” (25).
This paragraph describing Jacob’s journey to pull himself onto a moving train is a good example of descriptive writing. It uses imagery for several different senses, such as hearing a “deafening”(25) noise and his “jawbone bangs rhythmically”(25), as he pulls himself into the train. He also uses the sense of smell as he sniffs out either “blood or rust,” and uses the sense of sight to explain what the scene appears to look like. This description also ties into a theme of the book, which is breaking away form an old life to start a new one. Ending up the circus was the farthest thing on Jacob’s mind as he was going through school to become a veterinarian. When Jacob’s parents died, he had nowhere to turn to and absolutely no money, so he decided to walk and jump onto a train, which just happened to be a circus train. This is also an example of the theme of a tragedy turning into something that would make Jacob happier. His parents’ death was obviously a tragedy, but Jacob’s life would have turned out completely different if he had followed the normal path of life, and he may not have been nearly as happy with it.
Jeff R
Period 6
“One, two, three—
I reach for the iron grab bar and fling myself upward. My left foot and elbow hit first, and then my chin, which smashes onto the metal edging. I cling tightly with all three. The noise is deafening, and my jawbone bangs rhythmically on the iron edging. I smell either blood or rust and wonder briefly if I’ve destroyed my teeth before realizing the point it in serious danger of becoming moot – I’m balanced perilously on the edge of the doorway with my right leg pointed at the undercarriage. With my right hand I cling to the grab bar. With my left I claw the floorboards so desperately that the wood peels off, under my nails. I’m losing purchase – I have almost no tread on my shoes and my left foot slides in short jerks toward the door. My right leg now dangles so far under the train I’m sure I’m going to lose it. I brace for it even, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my teeth” (25).
This is a great example of descriptive writing because it demonstrates the struggle that Jacob endures trying to leap onto a moving train. This scene occurs at night, and Jacob has no idea that getting onto this train is going to completely change his life, he is just trying to get back to civilization. This is a turning point in the book because it is the beginning of a significantly new life for him after leaving school. This passage clearly puts an image into the reader’s head, allowing them to see what Jacob looks like clinging for his life on the side of a train.
“ ‘Jetes dobra dziewczynka,’ he says, standing up and screwing the cap back on the ointment. ‘Potoz noge.’
Rosie sets her foot back on the ground. ‘Masz, moja piekna,’ he says digging in his pocket. Her trunk swings around, investigating. He pulls out a mint, brushes off the lint, and hands it to her. She plucks it from his fingers and pops it in her mouth.
I stare in shock – I think my mouth may even be open. In the space of two seconds, my mind zigzagged from her unwillingness to perform, her history with the elephant tramp, to her lemonade thievery, and back to the cabbage patch.
‘Jesus Christ,’ I say.
‘What?’ says Greg, fondling her trunk.
‘She understands you.’ ” (227).
This is a good example of descriptive writing because it clearly shows Jacob’s shock in learning about Rosie’s real skills. This scene occurs between Jacob and Greg in an empty tent. Greg is tending to Rosie’s wounds from the bull hook. After this scene, Jacob helps the circus develop an amazing performance. This passage does a great job of showing the reader Jacob’s shock, and his amazement towards Rosie’s circus tricks.
Z Codington
English Period 6
September 11, 2008
Analysis
“He remembered Sharkey standing beside Gorman’s body, Gorman’s wallet in his hand pilling its contents on the bolder. No photograph of a trailer. Had Sharkey palmed it? Hidden it away? Chee’s memory was excellent, the recall of a people without a written memory, who keep their culture alive in their minds, who train their children to memorize details of sand paintings and curing ceremonials. He used it now, recreating the scene, what Sharkey had said and done, Sharkey looking into the money compartment of the wallet, removing the money, looking again, inspecting flaps and compartments: Sharkey seeking a Polaroid photograph that wasn’t there.” (Hillerman, 50)
This excerpt is a particularly good example of descriptive writing from Tony Hillerman’s novel The Ghostway. This book is about a Navajo policeman named Jim Chee who has a spectacular memory; he is trying to solve a murder case that has perplexed him for weeks. This excerpt is his recollection of investigating one of the crime scenes, it gives a feeling as if we are hearing Jim Chee’s thoughts exactly how he is thinking as well as the narrator’s commentary. Together they give the perfect image of the crime scene as well as showing Chee’s precise memory, which is always coming into play along with his uncanny ability to connect one crime to another. Hillerman uses short choppy sentences to display Chee’s thoughts, creating a somewhat stressful mood so the reader gets to experience Chee’s thoughts just how he would.
“Vaggan pressed an ear against the next door. Heard nothing. The knob wouldn’t turn. He tried again to confirm it was locked, then extracted a credit card from his wallet and knelt. The lock was new, and the tongue slid back easily without a sound. Vaggan stood and pulled the door open a half inch. He replaced the credit card fished a section of nylon stocking from his pocket, and spent a moment adjusting the holes he’d cut into it over his eyes. He inhaled, feeling the same exhilaration he’d felt facing the dogs at the fence. Adrenaline. Strength. Power. Vaggan took the .32 from his pocket, held it briefly in his palm, then returned it to the pocket. He eased the door open and looked into the room lit by moonlight reflecting through the translucent drapes.” (Hillerman, 134)
This excerpt is another good example of descriptive writing because of Hillerman’s ability to portray the mood and thoughts of the character. In this chapter Vaggan, who is a professional assassin, has broken into a man’s house and is going to severely injure the man because he owes Vaggan’s client money. In this excerpt, as well as the first, the author uses short choppy sentences to show the stress Vaggan is feeling as well as his excitement. He even uses one word sentences, “Adrenaline. Strength. Power.” This shows how excited Vaggan really is to be getting to pound someone’s face in. The description Hillerman uses when describing the room, and how it was lit by, “Moonlight reflecting through the translucent drapes.” The vivid image it creates shows Hillerman’s great ability to set the scene in the reader’s head. This excerpt ties into one of the main lessons of the book that people are never safe no matter how many precations they take.
Dana K.
Period 2
1. “A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van’s body.” (Meyer 56)
This particular passage from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer is a good example of descriptive writing because it creates a vivid image of the scene in which Edward, a strange boy, saves Bella’s life. The image is created by the word choice of the author. One word that Meyer uses to describe the van stopping is shuddered. “Shuddered,” makes this scene feel more realistic as if the driver of the van halted to a stop with a loud screech. Another word used is “providentially,” to make the reader realize how fortunate Bella was to not hit the van. Both of these words show how Meyer sets the image of this accident through descriptive writing. This excerpt ties into the main theme and lesson of the book because it has to do with putting your life before others, which Edward does often.
2. “I opened my eyes. I was in the office, and Edward was striding past the front counter toward the nurse’s door. Ms. Cope, the redheaded front office receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, astonished, as Edward swung me into the room and placed me gently on the crackly paper that covered the brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Then he moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright, excited.” (Meyer 98)
Bella, the main character in Twilight by Stephenie Meyer has a crush on a young man named Edward, but there is something about Edward that makes Bella ponder if he really is who he says he is. In the passages leading to this one, Bella learns that Edward can not attend science because it involves a lab with blood. In this passage Meyer uses descriptive writing to connect Bella’s theory about Edward to what he really is. It is a good example of descriptive writing because Meyer not only continues with using the repetition of the word eyes, but she also uses certain words to justify the realization that Bella makes. “Striding,” is how Meyer describes Edward’s walk making him seem like he is a VIP and that everyone should pay special attention to him. Towards the end of the paragraph his eyes are described as, “bright, excited,” where as only minutes earlier they were red and full of anger. This, along with the blood in science class lead Bella to believe that Edward is a vampire. This excerpt connects to the larger theme of the book because it deals with the mystery of Edward.
Melissa B.
Period 2
“Chee let the breath whistle through his teeth. Relief. That would probably be Nez. Guilt fell away from him.
At the intersection, he slowed and stared down the dirt road. Headlights should be yellow. This light was red. It flickered. Fire.
“Oh, God!” Chee said aloud. A prayer. He geared the patrol car down into second and went slipping and sliding down the muddy track,” (Hillerman 11).
This particular excerpt taken from Tony Hillerman’s Coyote Waits, began what critics call the ‘rising action’ of the novel. We learn from Officer Jim Chee’s perspective what caused the murder of Officer Nez Delbert and how he approached the site. This passage illustrates some of Hillerman’s stronger descriptive writing skills by personifying the fire and the car by saying ‘it flickered’ and ‘slipping and sliding.’ He also illustrated the numerous thoughts and emotions rushing through Chee’s mind with expressions such as ‘Relief’ and ‘Guilt fell away.’ This excerpt taken from Coyote Waits is also filled with great imagery of the scene with the fire and the fast car, and essentially begins the complicated plot in the novel.
“He knew how it was for me. This whiskey. He knew that when I drank it I would do wrong things. I would tell him what I didn’t want to tell him. He knew it made my tongue loose and he knew that when it was in me it took over my mind. It made the wind that blows inside me blow as dark as night,” (Hillerman 343).
This passage in Hillerman’s suspenseful novel explains the defendant’s reasoning for committing the crime of murdering Officer Nez Delbert and helping Professor Tagert and William Odell Redd steal hundreds of thousands of money in stamps. Defendant Ashie Pinto’s confess and story adds to the novel’s climax and creates a further understanding for the reader as well as the characters in the book. This excerpt explains Pinto’s motives and makes him as a victim of pressure from Redd and Tagert. He accuses ‘This whiskey’ for making him give secret information and kill the policeman. The personification of, ‘the wind blows inside me…” is Pinto’s personal way of describing the evil qualities of whiskey. Pinto’s story changes the entire plot and pins the blame on Tagert (and Redd). They took advantage of him by claiming ‘He knew how it was for me’ saying all these actions were previously planned, therefore helping to prove Pinto innocent.
Alex Lavrentios
Period 2
September 10, 2008
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
“The battle flag in the distance jerked about madly. It seemed to be struggling to free itself from an agony. The billowing smoke was filled with horizontal flashes. Men running swiftly emerged from it. They grew in numbers until it was seen that the whole command was fleeing. The flag suddenly sank down as if dying. Its motion as it fell was a gesture of despair. Wild yells came from behind the walls of smoke. A sketch in gray and red dissolved into a mob-like body of men who galloped like wild horses”(Page 29).
The passage above is from the perspective of Henry, The Red Badge of Courage’s protagonist, as he witnesses his fellow soldiers retreating from battle. Henry, up to this point in the novel, is very self-doubting; he feels he won’t be able to confront the war when the time comes. When he finally is thrown into the heat of combat, Crane shows us in vivid detail what it was like. He burns the image of smoke and gunfire into the readers mind, along with the commotion of terrified soldiers. Crane also uses incredible personification while describing the motion of the flag. He shows how the flag is being whipped around by saying it was “struggling to free itself from an agony.” The author also uses similes in the passage to explain actions into further detail, like when he describes fleeing soldiers as “men who galloped like wild horses.”
“His fingers twitched nervously about his rifle. He wished that it was an engine of annihilating power. He felt that he and his companions were being taunted and derided from sincere convictions that they were poor and puny. His knowledge of his inability to take vengeance for it made his rage into a dark and stormy specter, that possessed him and made him dream of abominable cruelties. The tormenters were flies sucking insolently at his blood, and he thought that he would have given his life for a revenge of seeing their faces in pitiful plights”(Page 91-92).
Early on in the story, Henry had overheard his general talking with a higher ranking officer, saying that they had the weakest regiment and that most of the soldiers would die in the upcoming battle. Having heard this, Henry was thrown into a fit of rage. Crane used descriptive language to show precisely what Henry saw and felt. Stephen shows how the protagonist is petrified before battle with his hands trembling over his rifle. He gets into Henry’s mind and shows how his rage during the battle turns him into a monster-like figure that has horrifying desires towards his enemies. He uses the insulting words from his general to fuel his fury while combating his enemies. As Henry goes through the war and encounters more and more battles, the author slowly makes him a phenomenal soldier by teaching him lessons each time he is in warfare.
Brittany B
Period 2
“We talked for over an hour, and I strained my ear in hopes of hearing the three most important words I had wanted Mom to say all my life. Alice stood beside me as I cried into the telephone. I wanted to be with my mom. I wanted to see her face in hopes of hearing those three words.” (Pelzer 296)
This passage is a good example of descriptive writing because the reader can understand what Dave is thinking and how he feels. They can create an image in their head about how he pictures her face and mouth saying I love you to him. When he says “straining my ear” it shows that he is kind of waiting and hoping for her to say those words to him and that it isn’t coming natural to him he is anticipating it. This passage also says “as I cried into the telephone” and can put the image of him being on the telephone with his mom and just crying because he knows she isn’t going to say it and if she does that she isn’t going to mean it. The last sentence says “I wanted to see her face in hopes of hearing those three words.” and by saying this he is thinking that maybe seeing her will make her want to say it more. This passage basically shows that even after everything his mother has done to him he still wants her to accept him and love him. This ties into a lesson in the book because even though Dave was abused and hurt by his mother, in a way he still wants her to love him shows some sense of being naïve because in the end he still wants her to want him.
“The walls were composed of dirty white cinder blocks. The cell had a faded, waxed cement floor. I stuffed my wet towel, change of underwear and socks in the tiny shelf. I sat on the foot of the wall-mounted bed and felt an urgent need to go to the bathroom-when I noticed there was no toilet in the cell.” (Pelzer 192)
In this passage there is a lot of descriptive writing that helps the reader get a feel for what the cell is like. The narrator is describing a jail cell and talks about every aspect of it. He says that “the walls were composed of dirty white cinder blocks.” saying that the walls were made up of dirty cement blocks. Then he talks about the floor being faded and cement. Also he mentions that there is no toilet. This excerpt really wants the reader to understand how bad and disgusting a cell is. This ties into a lesson in the story of not getting in trouble because the consequences are bad. With his mother he would get beat but with the law he gets put in jail.
Val Pinkhasov
Period 6 English
9-10-08
Summer Reading Analysis
“Some of the wisteria flowers had gone to seed, and all these wonderful long green pods hung down from the branches. They looked as much like beans as anything you’d ever care to eat.” (P. 43)
This excerpt is a good example of descriptive writing because the author, Barbara Kingsolver, describes the way the bean tree looks and how the green pods are hanging down from the branches. She also described how they look good to eat. This gives you a picture of what the bean trees look like. This excerpt ties in with the main theme from the book because while Lou Ann, Turtle, Dwayne Ray, and Taylor are sitting in Doo Doo Park, a miracle happens. This is referring to how a miracle can happen anywhere and even in unlikely places. This is also how Taylor found Turtle, dropped off my a woman randomly in the middle of nowhere.
"There was a cactus with bushy arms and a coat of yellow spines as thick as fur. A bird had built her nest in it. In and out she flew among the horrible spiny branches, never once hesitating. You just couldn't imagine how she'd made a home in there." (P. 130)
This excerpt is a good example of descriptive writing because the author describes the cactus is such a way that when you imagine it you do not even want to think about going near it. You can also picture the birds nest and the bird flying in and out of the nest through the spines. This excerpt ties into the book because it explains how Taylor was able to find a home in a very unlikely place but she is dealing with it.
Ilana M
Period 2
Page 3
“Inside the snow globe on my father’s desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white-striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull me onto his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over, letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was alone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father this, he said, “Don’t worry, Susie; he has a nice life. He’s trapped in a perfect world.” (Sebold, 3).
In the novel “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold, this passage is a window to a main theme of letting go; letting go of worry, and paranoia. The characters must cope with the death of Susie and must learn to continue to live their lives without her by their side. This passage displays Susie’s concern for the lonely penguin in the snow globe; her father assures her that he is alright being alone and to let go of the grief she felt. The rich language that Sebold uses throughout the text such as “letting the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it” creates a real image in the reader’s mind. The emotions of the characters are also channeled in this passage. This gives the reader a chance to see the personalities of the main characters right away. The innocence that is introduced in the text right off the bat was a great way to start off the book.
Page 103
While everyone else slept, Lindsey stood in the mirror of the bathroom, looking at herself. She wiped off some of the blush, blotted her lips, and ran her fingers over the swollen, freshly plucked parts of her formerly bushy eyebrows. In the mirror she saw something different; and so did I: and adult who could take care of herself. Under the makeup was the face she’d always known as her own until very recently, when it had become the face that reminded people of me. With lip pencil and eyeliner, she now saw, the edges of her face like gems imported from some far-off place where the colors were richer than the colors in our house had ever been. It was true what our grandmother said-that makeup brought out the blue of her eyes. The plucking of the eyebrows changed the shape of her face. The blush highlighted the hollows beneath her cheekbones (“the hollows that could stand some more hollowing,” our grandmother pointed out). And her lips-she practiced her facial expressions. She pouted, she kissed, she smiled wide as if she too had had a cocktail, she looked down and pretended to pray like a good girl but cocked one eye up to see how she looked being good. She went to bed and slept on her bed so as not to mess up her new face.” (Sebold, 103).
In regards of the main theme of the novel of letting go, Lindsey, Susie’s younger sister, in the passage, learns how to use makeup. Lindsey is compared to her sister frequently after Susie’s death, and she struggles throughout the book to be original and finally be Lindsey to other people and not her sister. In this passage, Lindsey uses makeup for the very first time, and is observing her “new” face in the mirror. She is doing something for herself, and something that’s not centered on Susie and her death. This passage uses descriptive language and creates a picture in the reader’s head. The way Sebold explains how Lindsey pouts and makes faces in the mirror; one would think she was in a photo booth in the mall, making pouty faces. The way Sebold describes the makeup and how it affects Lindsey’s face paints a clear picture on not only how she looked before the makeup, but how it’s altered her for the better. This description is carried throughout the novel.
Kelsey O.
English- 2H
September 9, 2008
“When the rains finally came, the skies darkened and the air became heavy. Raindrops the size of marbles came pelting out of the sky. Some parents worried that their kids might get hit by lightning, but Mom and Dad never did, and they let us go out and play in the warm, driving water. We splashed and sang and danced. Great bolts of lightning cracked from the low-hanging clouds, and thunder shook the ground” (page 22).
The excerpt from the survival novel of “The Glass Castle” written by Jeannette Walls demonstrates descriptive writing with lively detail that brings the scene to life right in front of your eyes. The phrase “the air becomes heavy” gives the reader an instant cold cringe and gets you to ponder upon what the meaning is behind it. After reading on, you discover that it connects with the weather and that a storm is about to arrive, so the air becomes thicker and more dense. However, this phrase can also be interpreted as foreshadowing that something horrible could occur with the family. In the passage, the protagonist Jeannette states how parents usually worry about their kids in a thunderstorm, and scared that their children will get stuck by lightning, and she adds on how her parents don’t worry about situations like that. The small issue of Jeannette’s parent’s simply not worrying and caring about their four children running around outside when there is lightning connects to the major theme of the novel of the parents neglecting their children. The passage also includes vivid language to elaborate the main focus of the sentence, such as “pelting”, “driving”, and “splashed” and shook. The “pelting” and “driving” is referring to the raindrops and “splashed” is referring to the fun times that the children had in the rain and “shook” was referring to the action of the thunder. Each word brightens the sentence and makes the main ideas of how hard the rain was coming down and how much fun the children were having at a dangerous time.
“Although she longed for California, the magical place of light and warmth, she seemed happier than the rest of us kids in Welch. She was a storybook-beautiful girl, with long blonde hair and startling blue eyes. She spent so much time with the families of her friends that she often didn’t seem like a member of our family” (206).
This passage from the novel “The Glass Castle” written by Jeannette Walls sounds very stereotypical with the pretty blonde wishing she was in California, but the meaning behind it is much deeper than what appears on the surface. The protagonist, Jeannette is talking about her younger sister Maureen who has survived some extraordinary obstacles and who wishes she had a better life than her own. The descriptive language in this passage persuades the reader how such a beautiful young girl does not fit the general stereotype, and how she does not have the perfect life. The last sentence of the passage proves the main point of Maureen not fitting in with her family, without saying it directly but by the author using an example of how so instead. When a sister states that her own sister doesn’t seem part of her own family, there is a clear problem within the family. The main theme of the novel is that the parents neglect their children their whole lives and let them frolic around and do what they please, which is why the family is dysfunctional and broken apart. The words that make the whole passage shine to the reader are magical, warmth and startling. The words magical and warmth are describing California, Maureen’s dream destination, and startling is an adjective which is part of the image of what Maureen looks like.
Paul Sharpe
9/11/08
English 11 Miller
Eleven Seconds By Travis Roy with E.M. Smith. Analysis
“I loved skating by myself, the feeling of exhaustion before bed that came from a good hard workout. I loved the sounds one person could make on the rink; the crunching of the ice beneath your blades; the clang of a puck hitting the post; the echoing of a shot off the boards; the crisp slap of a slap shot, as the blade of the stick smacks the ice, then, a millisecond later, makes contact with the puck. I loved the sound of the swishing sound of the puck hitting into the net. That’s what I remember best when I think of those nights alone on the rink: the sounds. Hockey sounds.”(Eleven Seconds, p.15)
This excerpt from Travis Roy’s Eleven Seconds, is an excellent example of descriptive writing because it is his own thoughts reminiscing on what he used to love about skating. The way he describes all of the sounds he noticed and grew to love over his hockey career. The way he describes being out on the ice alone paints a brilliant picture in the readers mind. The book is about his career ending injury, but this excerpt is him thinking about before the giant downfall of his injury and becoming a quadriplegic. Travis Roy always loved and will love the game although he cannot play anymore, and this tale of “Hockey sounds” and being alone at night on a rink by himself obviously means a lot to him by the detail he goes into about it. Sounds like clang, crunch, swish, and slap are all sounds that not only describe the picture he is trying to present, but display his devotion toward the game that he misses so much.
“The way I look at it, I’ve passed my first year as a quadriplegic. I’ve learned an entirely new way of living, and have gone through the first round of lessons. But I haven’t graduated yet, and now I’m excited to tackle year two. The competitive side of my nature is growing in me again. I feel it so clearly. I’m pissed off, pardon the language. But that’s exactly the way I feel, and it’s a feeling that has a direct correlation to sports. I realize the mistakes I’ve made, and I want to get back out there and correct them. Its not going to be easy. There are going to be good days and bad days. I realized that before, but there’s something very different this time. I got knocked down last year, and its taken a long time, but im ready to get back up.”(Eleven Seconds, p. 225.)
This excerpt is one of my favorite paragraphs in the whole book, the way it is just written in his spoken words, he even curses and goes back to pardon himself, is much different than other books. The way he speaks about ”tackling year two” as if it were an opponent of competitor brings a sense of competition and willingness to achieve. This is an inspiring paragraph, coming from an inspirational speaker. Travis Roy, even being a quadriplegic after his accident on the ice, can still strive to be better. To live better and make up for past mistakes. He knows that every day will be a struggle in his current state, and that at this time its only been one year since the tragic accident, but he somehow makes the best of his situation nonetheless.
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